A walk of faith…

It has been a tumultuous couple of months for our family here in Virginia Beach. During the precipitous market crash of the Fall, 2008, our savings disappeared without so much as a “see you later!” We were entirely too leveraged and should have pulled the plug earlier, but my unfounded optimism and tendency to avoid unpleasant realities clouded my judgment. I had hoped for an escape, but unlike previous downturns, we would not weather this storm.

Losing one’s financial security yields an odd mixture of outright panic, deep remorse and remarkable peace. My wife consoled me by saying, “At least we don’t have to worry about what the market is doing anymore!” Yet it brought other worries, including my on-going struggle to find ministry employment. As long as we had some kind of safety net, the process of sending out endless résumés to churches was merely a frustration; without any means of support, it became a luxury we could no longer afford.

So after twenty-two years of teaching and ministry, I began a search for secular employment. And God is so good: He opened a door for me with an electrical contractor in Yorktown. The committed Christian who owns the company learned of my need and thought that we might help each other for as long as the Lord allows. So I am now learning the language and processes of purchasing electrical equipment and materials. I confess there are moments when I am entirely baffled by my circumstances, yet I quickly remember how miraculous it is that I—a middle-aged preacher, ignorant of almost everything other than some theological tidbits—have found a job at a time when the economy is (supposedly) going down the tubes.

Needless to say, my life has been dramatically rearranged. The job only asks for 40 hours a week, but the commute adds another 10–15 hours each week. My days begin well before the birds awake and seem to end shortly after dinner! For those of you who know me well, you would be genuinely surprised by how early I’m “up and at’em!”

The change has necessitated a reexamination of my ministry activity. For some time I had wrestled against what I believed was the prompting of the Lord to start some kind of fellowship. Still being somewhat scarred from my earlier ministry experience in charismatic, word-faith circles, I was reluctant to go out on my “own,” and so sought a position in an existing church. While I had the means to wait for the right position to open, I eagerly volunteered my teaching gift to local churches. It is not as noble as it sounds, though; I admit that I hoped that one of those churches might have recognized the gift and been moved to take me on staff as a teaching minister, but it never happened. Why buy the cow when the milk is free, right? Heh!

At any rate, my wife and I prayed and concluded that the time of waiting for recognition had come to an end; it was now time to do what we knew to do. So we resurrected Household of Faith Ministries, the tax-exempt ministry organization we formed ten years ago, and began holding services in our home on Sundays at 4 pm. While these are still early days, we are cheered by the attendance and the fellowship. I decided to step down from the other volunteer positions; they consumed a lot of time. It is important to be a blessing, but when one is drowning its not the time to volunteer. I chose to spend my ‘free’ time with my family and in pursuit of my writing.

As you might imagine then, the last seven weeks have been a blur. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. It may be only another opportunity to walk by faith and purge my reliance on things of this earth, but it has been an arduous education. It has taught me a lot, about God, others, and myself. You really do learn who your friends are when times get hard! But thankfully, there is Jesus! Now that I’ve completed the last of my volunteer responsibilities, I should have another eight to ten hours to use for other projects. But, for this week at least, I’ll probably just sleep!

Believe it or not, I do have a couple of entries to post here. I have been working on a new website for Household of Faith which will include recordings of my teaching. I have not decided if I will migrate this blog to the website, but for now I will continue to post the occasional musing here. There is so much to say…! Until then, please—get into the Word! And may God have mercy on us all.